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Dear Secret Santa,

I feel betrayed.  All I wanted last year was for chocolate to resume its place as an acceptable Secret Santa gift.  But no, chocolate with its palm oil is now seen as supporting environmental terrorism (sob).  Could we get an exception for fair trade chocolate (please)?

Worse still, I find that after all these years labouring under the misapprehension that the Secret Santa was the opportunity to buy a thoughtful gift for the virtual stranger in the office(thanks for lifting the spend limit to $20 this year) it is an opportunity for sanctioned bullying.

We had no idea that the gift in question was suppose to be invoke rage.  Our eyes opened when we learned that the following were actually Secret Santa Gifts:

1. Dog Food (that is not clever)

2.’ Office Bitch’ Mug

3.Underwear (WTF??????)

4.Items from a sex shop (FSOG is so last year)

5.Book of Etiquette (Handwriting Book)

Holy crap! Santa, I have been a really, really good girl this year.

Promise.

Love

Gertie xoxox

 

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