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Have you noticed the increasingly casualisation of work attire? Is it a reflection of the growing expectation that employees be on call twenty four-seven? Does its’ genesis lie with those dastardly Gen X’s and their dress down Friday (corporate attire sans tie)? Or do we blame Gen Y disrupting traditional authority?

Of late this casualisation has been a topic of discussion in the SMH.  First the mock feminist outrage that young professionals in the CBD are been told what not to wear to an article this week of  general “rules”.

So here is my list of office don’ts:

1.  If you can wear it to a nightclub then it’s not appropriate for the office. Sexual harassment laws were not designed to protect you from your own stupidity.

2. If your colleagues can describe in detail your Victoria Secret bra then your top is cut too low.

3. Always wear knickers and a bra to work.

4. If your clothing (for example the backless dress) necessitates it to be worn braless then it may not be appropriate the workplace. (See rule 3)

5. Do not wear tight clothing.  Tight enough for your colleagues to discern the absence of underwear (See rule 3).

6. Your dress is too short if your colleagues are treated to your rendition of Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. Shudder. Or you constantly have to pull the dress down so it comes to mid-thigh.

7.  You know the clothing is really inappropriate when a client likens the attire to that of a prostitute of working in a brothel.

8.  Do not wear translucent clothing.

9. Colleagues should not be able to describe that tattoo of a butterfly on your stomach.

10. Hooker heels.  Stupidly high heels are not empowerment.

11. Do not wander around the office bare-foot particularly in front of clients. That is for the bohemian Arts students and the homeless.  If you can’t wear a pair of shoes all day then invest in a pair that you can.

12. Do not wear socks trimmed in lace.  How old are you? Five?

13. Do not wear neon.  Don’t give a shit that it is in.  You work in an office not traffic control.

14. Do not wear loud patterns (animal or otherwise).  The 70s are calling.  They want their print back.

15. Bubble-gum pink hair belongs on an amine character not a professional.

Can you think of any others?  Let us know.

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