Dear Secret Santa,

I have been a really good girl this year. I didn’t put the empty carton of milk back in the fridge. I smiled benignly when required to work the second consecutive weekend so our team could make budget. I kept my cool when admin managed to mail the wrong document to the wrong client (again). All I ask in return is not to be subject to a wacked version of Pass the Parcel aka Party Kris Kringle.

Robbed of the opportunity to purchase a thoughtful (cough) gift for a randomly chosen colleague (and there are websites that assist in this process) I am obliged to buy a generic piece of tat for under $10 that by day’s end will be landfill.

Alcohol, food, and chickens are banned. Scented candles really ought to make that list too. (Why do I always get the cheap $2 scented candle. Why?) So, what’s left?  Cute stationery? Don’t think the single middle-aged guy (of questionable sexuality) from HR would appreciate that.

As this is the Australian Year of Misogyny, this handy guide Secret Santa for the office misogynist is no longer of any use.  Drat.

Now, I have to be creatively devilish as I select  a gift that can at least be re-gifted by the unintended recipient.

Please Santa, next year can you reinstate chocolate as an acceptable gift?

I promise to be nice.

Lots of love