The value of a work phone policy is that it reminds the employee that while private calls are permissible they should be of short duration and succinct.  Even though your colleagues’ eyes are glazed over staring at the computer they are listening to every word and passing judgement more harshly than those in a Harpic commercial.

Private conversations like smoking should be taken outside.  We do not wish to acquire lung cancer nor do we want to know that you have problems with your mother.  (Yes, this is an actual conversation).

Cubicle Slave Adjacent (CSA):’ I love you.’

CSA:  ‘Do you love me?’

CSA:  ‘You are supposed to say you love me Mum.’

CSA : ‘Don’t you love me?’

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